


in the sunlit garden

by dancingassassin



Category: Gundam 00, Tales of Xillia
Genre: Drama, Ludger encounters Setsuna's scientifically wrong shadow, Ludger just wants to help, Revolutionary Girl Utena AU, Setsuna's shadow has a hole, school au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-11
Updated: 2016-10-11
Packaged: 2018-08-21 23:34:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8264534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dancingassassin/pseuds/dancingassassin
Summary: written for EmbryonicHarmonic.
Revolutionary Girl Utena AU
Ludger has watched his friend become more and more withdrawn. He wants to do something, but isn't sure what he's able to do anyway. That is until he sees what's happened to Setsuna's shadow...and how much Setsuna has changed in the short time since they met.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [EmbryonicHarmonic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmbryonicHarmonic/gifts).



It was nice to get away from the hustle and bustle of the school. Everything got so loud and it wasn’t like Ludger was unused to loudness, he _was_ from the city. But the noise that Ohtori Academy provided was different and strange and he wasn’t entirely sure he liked it. It was far more stifling, somehow. He’d assumed that he’d get used to it with time, but that hadn’t happened thus far, much to his chagrin.

So he’d jumped at the idea of working on figure study with Setsuna _far_ away from the usual areas of the campus. Ludger wasn’t entirely sure why he’d signed up for figure drawing in the first place, he didn’t have any intention of going on in art. He wanted to be a chef. But it was an interesting class, at least. Maybe it would help him with structuring artful plate presentations, who knew. Or maybe he’d signed up for it solely because Setsuna was one of his only friends and it was nice to have a class with someone he knew rather than a bunch of strangers that felt like they judged him.

Either way, really.

Sun was filtering into the corner of campus they’d chosen for their figure study. It was strange that it was so quiet over here, Ludger would have thought that there would be couples flocking this way due to the area being a small, outdoor garden. But no, there was no one.

“This really is a nice area.” Ludger hummed as he pulled out his supplies for class. “Good lighting.”

He’d have to be careful since he was so fair-skinned. He didn’t want to wind up with uncomfortable sunburn all over his exposed skin. With how the school uniforms were that sounded like a recipe for endless discomfort and irritation.

“Yeah, and there aren’t many people here.” Setsuna’s expression seemed a bit far away, the same as it had been the past few weeks now.

Honestly, Ludger was getting worried about it. Setsuna had always been withdrawn, but him suddenly becoming _more_ withdrawn set off alarms in Ludger’s mind. For now, he’d trust that Setsuna would tell him if something was wrong, but if Setsuna’s moods continued to be distracted and increasingly avoidant, Ludger was going to get to the bottom of everything.

“Do you want to draw first? Or should I?” Ludger tilted his head to the side, he didn’t mind either way.

“Why don’t you pose first?” The way Setsuna phrased it sounded less like a question and more like a statement.

He nodded and stretched as he tried to find a good place to settle in. The poses for this assignment were to be relatively natural. Ludger leaned against an elm tree. “Is the lighting okay here?”

“Yeah, it’ll work.” Setsuna tilted his head. “Funny that you choose that tree…it suits you in meaning.”

Ludger blinked before meeting Setsuna’s gaze. “Oh?”

“Yeah. Strength of will and intuition. It suits you.”

He didn’t dig into why Setsuna had working knowledge of what trees _meant_ or flower language or anything like that. For now, he relaxed against the tree, arms crossed loosely over his chest. Ludger didn’t look back at Setsuna, instead he was staring at the flowers. He half wondered what they meant but knew that he’d never remember. But they were pretty to look at, at least. Delicate pinks mingling with dusky blues with loud splashes of bold red accenting everything – it was clear someone had put a lot of time into planting the flowers. Or that nature had managed to create something very beautiful and coordinated.

Time ticked on, Ludger feeling the sun move across his skin. The shadows danced along the flower bed and grass. There was always something a little strange and ominous about shadows at Ohtori, but Ludger just figured that was chocked up to him not feeling completely comfortable there. He had figured, like much of his discomfort, that it would pass with time. It had not. Shadows always had that vague sense of distress creeping into the back of his throat and he never knew why.

“Alright…I think my drawing is done, you can sit down now Ludger.” Setsuna offered a hollow smile as he closed up his drawing pad and tucked away his pencils and other drawing implements.

Ludger settled onto the ground and tried to arrange his drawing pad as nicely as he could. It wasn’t the most comfortable or ergonomic drawing position, but he’d make it work. Somehow. He’d just have a terrible crick in his neck later in the evening. Maybe he’d be able to work it out with a hot shower; sometimes that made the terrible muscles knots he got from doing the sword exercises his brother had taught him go away.

“Okay…you find a comfortable pose, alright Setsuna?” Ludger was still pulling his supplies out. Pencils, erasers, various other items that would help him do a quick sketch of his friend.

If anything, he was never taking an art class again because they were damn expensive and he was poor.

“Alright.”

Ludger kept setting up, paying no mind to Setsuna as he tried to find a comfortable position. After all, when you had to stay relatively still for a good amount of time, you wanted to be in a position that didn’t hurt.

Finally, everything was the way he wanted them to be. Ludger glanced up to Setsuna, smiling when he noticed that the other man had wandered out into the sunlight. That didn’t surprise Ludger in the least. Setsuna was perpetually cold, even on warm days. He was much like a cat; he gravitated toward the sun and tried to steal the sun’s heat.

“I’m going to get started if you’re set, Setsuna.”

His friend merely nodded and stayed quite still. Ludger started sketching out the shapes he picked out in Setsuna’s frame, using quick, fluid motions to try and capture his friend’s silhouette most accurately.

The sun continued to track across the sky and slowly started sinking toward the horizon. The bright blue sky was melting towards oranges and crimsons, the lighting warm but there was a definite chill in the air as the sun got further and further away from them. It wasn’t the best drawing light, but again, Ludger would make it work somehow.

He glanced back up at Setsuna, eyes lingering on how the bold, warm colors really suited his friend’s skin tone. But that wasn’t a productive thought so he went back to drawing his friend’s legs.

Something caught his eye though, something that didn’t quite seem right.

With sunset being so close, the shadows were becoming more and more prevalent. Ludger had mainly been ignoring them. But this one really caught his attention because it just didn’t seem _right_. His pencil stopped moving across the paper as he looked to the ground just behind Setsuna. There was Setsuna’s shadow, completely normal except for one, glaring fact.

There was a hole in it.

That wasn’t how light worked. If there was an object in the way, there was a shadow. He could practically hear Tieria Erde saying that it was ‘unscientific’. He shook his head then rubbed at his eyes. Maybe he was just tired and was seeing things…

But when he looked up again, the hole was still there.

“Ludger? You stopped drawing…” Setsuna’s voice broke Ludger back into reality.

He swallowed dryly. Yes, he had stopped drawing. Because there was a _hole in his friend’s shadow_. That wasn’t normal. “…Setsuna…it looks like there’s a hole in your shadow.”

The words were out before Ludger could stop himself, but it felt like it was important to bring it up. He’d been having bad feelings about how withdrawn Setsuna was, how quickly his friend’s personality was shifting…and this only compounded all of that. It was better to sound stupid and bring it up and have it be nothing.

“Oh, must be a trick of the light.” Nonchalant, bored even.

Ludger frowned more deeply. _He’s answered this before, hasn’t he?_

Granted, how was he expecting Setsuna to react to this? What was a normal reaction when you were being told that it appears your shadow has a hole in it? Ludger wasn’t even sure how _he’d_ respond to that sort of thing. But he’d at least _look_ at that shadow to verify. Setsuna hadn’t budged. So either he was that dismissive and that far-gone…or he knew it was there already.

The two options that had popped to mind weren’t good either way.

“Setsuna…” Ludger’s voice was deceptively calm, his voice even. “There’s one light source. There’s nothing reflective nearby. I’m not sure what kind of a trick it could be other than those…but…”

Again, Setsuna didn’t seem particularly upset or disturbed by this knowledge. He just seemed to accept it as it was thrown at him. “Really, it’s just a trick of the light.”

There was something in that tone that told Ludger he shouldn’t keep pressing this – but his friend’s behavior was concerning. If Setsuna was still like he’d been when Ludger first met him, then maybe he could let it slide. Then maybe he wouldn’t be so weirded out by this. He might just dismiss it as things at Ohtori being weirder than usual and then let it go.

But since Setsuna had been withdrawing so hard and seeming so distracted and spending _so much_ time with that older guy, Ali al-Saachez, well, Ludger couldn’t help but be worried. He couldn’t dismiss Setsuna’s shadow as Ohtori being Ohtori.

“Setsuna, there’s more to this that you aren’t telling me. I know that.” There was a hint of panic edging into his voice.

Setsuna looked at Ludger, his expression shifting into a smile that felt utterly soulless and made the small hairs on the back of Ludger’s neck stand on end. “Everything’s fine, Ludger. There’s nothing to worry about.”

Except that smile made Ludger worry even more, because smiles like that weren’t normal. Nothing felt fine.

“Please just tell me what’s going on.” Ludger started getting to his feet, abandoning his art supplies to the grass. “I just want to help you, Setsuna.”

Setsuna stayed still as Ludger approached. With every step closer, Ludger saw the hole in Setsuna’s shadow more clearly. It became more and more obvious that it wasn’t a trick of the light, that it wasn’t some reflective surface creating the illusion of a hole. No, it was like someone had punctured a giant hole in the middle of Setsuna’s chest and the waning sunlight was filtering through that. Except there was no actual hole in Setsuna’s chest.

It felt like there was very little air in the little courtyard they’d found. Ludger was almost lightheaded as he stared at the strange shadow on the ground before looking back at Setsuna. That smile was still on his face, the empty, emotionless one. It didn’t reach his eyes and there was something that was completely uncanny valley about all of Setsuna’s expressions – but Ludger couldn’t pinpoint what it was.

“…let me help you, Setsuna.” Ludger’s voice was a good deal softer now. He didn’t reach out for his friend, he knew how he felt about being touched. He wouldn’t violate that trust. “Please.”

Setsuna tilted his head, the smile slowly melting off of his face. What was left in its wake was even worse than before. It was like Ludger was looking at a corpse, like there was no light in Setsuna’s eyes, no will to live. No will for _anything_.

“Ludger…” Setsuna’s voice was a void, his expression flat. “No one can help me.”

And with that, Setsuna turned away and left. His shadow trailed behind him, slowly becoming grotesquely large. The hole spread as well, seeming to devour what was left of his friend’s shadow.

Ludger stared at Setsuna’s retreating back. Something was wrong, dreadfully wrong at that. He didn’t know what it was, he didn’t know how to stop it, but he wasn’t going to let Setsuna suffer. He would find a way to help.


End file.
